I recently changed my Twitter account name with someone who shares my real-world name. He asked politely, so I swapped, and it was all very easy from a technical point of view.
The reaction I had was interesting. Some people I know were (naively, in my view) amazed I hadn’t demanded a lot of money, but my online friends – the people I know mainly, or solely from online interactions – seemed appalled. As I got closer to completing the switch I understood better why. With friends who have never actually met me, my username was as unique and personal as my face is to my non-online friends. It was like I had announced I was going to grow a beard, or die my hair green (like Cori).
But it reminded me of something I believe about social media – that exclusively online friendships are as real as any other kind of friendship.
The media is full of people who believe that excessive use of facebook, twitter, etc will result in alienation. That ‘real’ friendships will be lost as we lose the social skills necessary to maintain them. My experience tells me that the opposite is true.
Cities – although full of people – can be the most alienating environment on the planet, because cities allow us to physically exist alongside other humans without having to communicate. Online, you have no physical presence, and you can only exist by communicating. Your beauty, or lack of it, your size and strength, all count for nothing. All you have is your social skills. We get better at listening to other people, and weighing what we say, by communicating online.
Villages are frequently held up as the ideal model of human society. My experience is this: if you fit in, you are fine. If you don’t go with the flow, you stick out like a sore thumb. And if you are looking for someone to talk to about subjects that a bit out of the mainstream, you are out of luck. There is a reason that many people with ambition and imagination flee a village as soon as they can.
Social media allows us to make our own village.
Also, it seems that the one thing that people know about twitter is that people are always talking inconsequential nonsense. True. But inconsequential nonsense is the mortar that holds relationships together.
So changing my name was harder than I thought it would be when I agreed to do it. I felt like Bilbo giving up the ring to Gandalf. It was precious to me, but its better given to people who might do something with it.
